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you might be a geek if...

let's face it, if you're here you're probably a geek. there is nothing wrong with being a geek. personally, i used to make a good living as a geek. you could even consider me a professional geek. in case you are in doubt of your geekhood, here is a list of symptoms gathered from real geeks in the wild help you determine if you are in fact a geek:

  1. if you have ever gotten in a heated argument about comic books, you might be a geek.
  2. if the last time you saw a person in the nude was with a browser, you might be a geek.
  3. if you can type with one hand, you might be a lonely geek.
  4. if you are a member of several exclusive IRC cliques, but have trouble mingling at social gatherings, you might be a geek.
  5. if you believe that every moment in your life some how corresponds with a scene from the simpsons, you might be a geek.
  6. if you have ever foregone sleep in order to beat a video game, you might be a geek.
  7. if you can't find the case to your computer, you might be a geek.
  8. if you own a computer(s) that costs more than the car you drive, you might be a geek.
  9. if you have ever recounted tales of "the good old days of punched cards" you might be a geek.
  10. if you know what a PDP-11 is, you might be a geek.
  11. if you have a favorite text editor, you might be a geek.
  12. if you consider it a waste to put only one operating system on a computer, you might be a geek.
  13. if you have ever climbed into a dumpster in order to acquire computer hardware, you might be a geek.
  14. if you have spent more than 24 hours at work surviving on food foraged from vending machines and catered meetings, you might be a geek.
  15. if you have ever constructed a cable in order to transport data, you might be a geek.
  16. if more than 10% of your wardrobe was provided by hardware or software vendors, you might be a geek.
  17. if you have ever gone to work barefoot, you might be a geek.
  18. if you have ever used the term "vanilla" to describe anything except ice cream, you might be a geek.
  19. if you you have ever sent email to yourself, you might be a geek.
  20. if you have ever emailed a person who was sitting in the same room as you, you might be a geek.
  21. if you like MP3's "cuz they're easy to keep track of" you might be a geek.
  22. if you own more than one domain name, you might be a geek.
  23. if you have ever used the word "foo" when talking to your mother, you might be a geek.
  24. if you know the difference between foo and f00, you might be a geek.
  25. if you have ever "asked jeeves" why your car won't start, you might be a geek.
  26. if you have spent more than an hour coding the automation for a one minute task, you might be a geek.
  27. if you have more than three active email accounts, you might be a geek.
  28. if you have written a script to pick up mail from all your active email accounts, you might be a geek.
  29. if there are pictures of your kids available on the web, you might be a geek.
  30. if you doctored those pictures so that your kids all have light sabres, you might be a geek.
  31. if you are carrying a floppy disk on your person and you can't explain why, you might be a geek.
  32. if you know how to crack passwords AND cannot stop locking your keys in your car, you might be a geek.
  33. if you have ever used the word "whiteboard" as a verb, you might be a geek.
  34. if you cannot explain ANYTHING without whiteboarding it, you might be a geek.
  35. if you have ever asked a prospective employer about the speed of their internet connection during an interview, you might be a geek.
  36. if you have ever "adopted" an obsolete computer, you might be a geek.
  37. if that "adopted" computer has lived for years as a unix box or firewall, you might be a geek.
  38. if you have ever played dungeons and dragons, you might be a geek.
  39. if you have ever brought a laptop to to play dungeons and dragons, you might be a geek.
  40. if you can recall the previous editions of D&D rules, you might be geek.
  41. if you have ever made a joke that involved the words "saving throw", you might be a geek.
  42. if you have ever worked on a piece of software used with the playing of dungeons and dragons, you might be a geek.
  43. if you have ever read laser print while sitting on the toilet, you might be a geek.
  44. if you own a shell account on a server in a state you will never visit, you might be a geek.
  45. if you are root on that server, you might be a geek.
  46. if that server that you are root on doesn't belong to you, you might be a dangerous geek.
  47. if that server is located in a country with no extradition laws, you might be a very dangerous geek.
  48. if you were disappointed to find out that the red hat society has nothing to do with linux, you might be a geek.
  49. if you have ever played a first person shooter at work you might be a geek.
  50. if one of the guys you played against was your boss, you might be a geek.
  51. if your boss calls playing quake a "team building exercise" you might be a geek.
  52. if you have ever been threatened with disciplinary action for spanking your boss during a team building exercise, you might be a geek.
  53. if you have ever used the word "subset" when ordering pizza, you might be a geek.
  54. if people ask you for information they don't bother to keep themselves, you might be a geek.
  55. if you have ever looked up the answer to one of those questions on the web, you might be a geek.
  56. if you can find the answer to one of those questions on the web in less than 30 seconds, you might be a geek.
  57. if you have used a company projector to watch joe cartoon, you might be a geek.
  58. if there are more computers living in your house than humans, you might be a geek.
  59. if you have ever counted the cat as a human in order to skew the ration of humans to computers, you might be a geek.
  60. if you have so many CPUs in your bedroom that you have to keep the windows open in the winter, you might be a geek.
  61. if all the computers in your house trip the circuit breaker, you might be a geek.
  62. if you have ever yelled at the screen when watching the the screen savers, you might be a geek.
  63. if there's a mac on your kitchen table, you might be a geek.
  64. if you have to keep the mac in the kitchen "cuz there's already 9 PC's in the bedroom," you might be a geek.
  65. if you think mac OS X will never be unix until it ships with xeyes, you might be a geek.
  66. 1f j00 sp34k l33t, j00 /\/\1g|-|t 8e 4 g33k.
  67. if you have ever remote controlled another computer you might be a geek.
  68. if you have ever remote controlled a computer running a different operating system, you might be a geek.
  69. if you have ever remote controlled a computer in order to play a joke on the person actively using it, you might be a geek.
  70. if you have accessed a CD rom thru over a network, you might be a geek.
  71. if you have called another person on the telephone to switch CDs on that shared CD rom, you might be a geek.
  72. if you have ever thrown cat5 cable out the window in order to connect the upstairs to the down stairs, you might be a geek.
  73. if you have fixed a computer problem for a person of the opposite sex, in hopes that they will go out with you, you might be a geek.
  74. if you have suggested to your girlfriend or boyfriend that she/he call you with computer problems rather than the company helpdesk, you might be a geek.
  75. if you get jealous when your boyfriend fixes other women's computers, you might be a geek.
  76. if you prefer the smell of hot circuitry to that of flowers, you might be a geek.
  77. if you have random computer parts strewn about your car, you might be a geek.
  78. if a person can't ride in the back seat of your car without getting tangled in cat5 cable, you might be a geek.
  79. if you think that a portable computer is any box that fits in the back seat of your car, you might be a geek.
  80. if you have ever said "w00t!" in bed, you might be a geek.
  81. if you have ever played an MMORPG, you might be a geek.
  82. if you answer to your character's name in real life, you might be a geek.
  83. if you have ever drawn a picture of your character (tabletop, MMORPG or otherwise) you might be a geek.
  84. if your MMORPG character is married you might be a geek.
  85. if you have suggested printing screenies of your MMORPG wedding for your family photo album, you might be a geek.
  86. if you have ever written a fanfic or a short story involving your character, you might be a geek.
  87. if your proudest moment as a father was the day your daughter hooked up her own PC, at age 9, you might be a geek.
  88. if you know what grep is you might be a geek.
  89. if you have ever grepped something, you might be a geek.
  90. if you have ever grepped in windows, you might be a geek.
  91. if you have ever served food taht you described as "hacking mongolian barbecue", you might be a geek
  92. if you use grep in winXP because of your disgust with "the stupid dog", you might be a geek.
  93. if you have looked up the directions for microwaving ramen noodles, you might be a geek.
  94. if your wild party plans for your birthday involve chess, you might be a geek.
  95. if the "house" you live in doesn't have a flushing toilet, but it does have DSL, you might be a geek.
  96. if you have a replica of your family in "the sims" you might be a geek.
  97. if you have ever punished a person for the misbehaviour of their sim counterpart, you might be a geek.
  98. if you have ever argued over the purchase of a sim swimming pool, you might are both be geeks.
  99. if you can spot the real hacking references in the movie "hackers" you might be a geek.
  100. if there are more than two game consoles in your living room, you might be a geek.
  101. if the purchase of an Xbox means making space on the AV switch box, you might be a geek.
  102. if you had trouble purchasing the AV switch box because the lady at best buy couldn't figure out what you meant by "a KVM switch, only for a TV", you might be a geek.
  103. if you can't describe your home theater system without explaining how it "boots", you might be a geek.
  104. if you have ever tried to close an IM window by typing "exit", you might be a geek.
  105. if you use your cell more for SMS messages than telephone calls, you might be a geek.
  106. if you have cell with "the final countdown" ringtone, you might be a geek.
  107. if the ringtone on your cell is the music from a video game, you might be a geek.
  108. if you have the music for a video game on CD, you might be a geek.
  109. if there is an active directory server at your house, you might be geek.
  110. if you have flashed the firmware on something you might be a geek.
  111. if that firmware flash was from a third party, you might be a geek.
  112. if that firmware flash is considered illegal in the united states, you're the freakin' man.
  113. if you have opened a port on a firewall, you might be a geek.
  114. if you have firmware flashed a firewall appliance because you ran out of available ports on the firewall, you might be a geek. to forward on
  115. if you have soldered something, you might be a geek.
  116. if you have fried something as a result of soldering it, you might be chris.
  117. if you have played a rom on an emulator you might be a geek.
  118. if you have played a rom on an emulator installed on a console from another manufacturer, you might be an xbox geek.
  119. if you have voided the warrenty on something by soldering or firmware flashing it, you might be a geek.
  120. if you voided the warranty on a device less than 10 minutes after taking it out of the box, you are definitely a geek.
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